Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
