And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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