Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
