dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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