Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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