if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
