her vagine was all disorganized.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
