I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
