That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize