he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
