You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
