put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
