I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
