Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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