THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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