I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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