god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
