Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Your dad touched me again.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize