You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
