I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
