But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
