see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize