What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
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I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
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Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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