: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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