you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
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i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
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I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Enjoy the penises
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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