He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
PANTIES FOUND
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