He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it