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• (616): View more from Michigan

  His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"

  (616): View more from Michigan

  He did it well too

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (607): View more from New York

  Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (310): View more from California

  Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater

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• (682): View more from Texas

  You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex

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