Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize