I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
