3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
