The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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