Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
