I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
