It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
