Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
