I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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