We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
