No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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