There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
