cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
we're so committed to being not committed
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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