She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
don't judge my taste in strippers
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
