Where are you?
In a non slutty way
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
