the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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