I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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