i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize