If i come over, it means nothing
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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