the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
