I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
