I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
