then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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