hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The power of my boobs compel you
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
