That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
