Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
