my mouth tastes like poor choices
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
