WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
