10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize