You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
