I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
