the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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