i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my shit smells like andre
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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