oh god the rape fog is back!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
