The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
