think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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