We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I deserve this hangover.
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